Entry #8 I Have Come to End the War

It’s the debate that has waged on for centuries. It has (figuratively) started wars, ended marriages, strained friendships and been the topic of many internet memes.   The debate that I speak of is…Cats vs dogs! Yes, this debate has been going on for quite some time, even though cats have in fact taken the victory long ago. That’s right, for cats, it's no contest: Their childlike playfulness and free spirit are the envy of anyone who has had the joy of owning one. Honestly, who wouldn’t want to spend their days knocking stuff off of tables, chasing strings and taking 18+ hour naps—I know I would! Even a lot of die-hard dog lovers have realized the error of their ways and seen the light of the feline side. Whether it’s the low maintenance lifestyle or just easygoing nature that comes with the cat package, America is finally waking up and realizing that cats rule and dogs drool! Hopefully, you have already realized this, but if not, stick around a bit and I will show you the light!

Firstly, dogs stink, literally! Even the most resolute of canine followers must admit to this one. The unmistakable Eau de Fido, that scent of 10 day old bacon fat with earthy undertones, it’s a little displeasing to say the least. Hopelessly, in vain, dog owners will try to disguise this terrible scent, but sadly no amount of expensive shampoos or perfumes will keep it away for long. You'll find it in your car and on your clothes. Everyone knows you have a dog—thanks to the smell, their noses confirm it. Cats, on the other hand, with their constant self-grooming and apt ability to regulate their body temperature, keeps these majestic beings smelling fresh and clean.

Second, (most) dogs are just plain rude. When you have guests over, a dog usually goes into “welcome” mode, barking, jumping and pawing at the guest. "Pay attention to me!" the dog begs, as his nails dig into your guest and his fur thoroughly coats their clothing. The dog will do everything possible for approval, from running around the room to bouncing like a basketball and singing everyone a little tune in high C. The cat, however, is usually nowhere to be seen. You see, they prefer to observe new arrivals from afar. Maybe, if the cat is feeling social it will come out and politely acknowledge the guests with a cautious stare and a twitch of the tail, but nothing more. No vociferous greetings, no football style tackles or humping of legs. Nope, a cat at a dinner party will stay tastefully out of the way, while a dog shamelessly lusts for attention and paces around for dinners scraps.

Furthermore, while we are still on the topic of manners, dogs will never hesitate to “vocalize” their opinions or announce any news worthy event. For example, it’s 3 am and the neighbors are leaving for work, “Bark, bark, bark, yip, yap!” which I am sure in dog speak translates to, “Have a good day at work ted!” While, this is incredibly courteous of the doge to wish the neighbors well, he does not take into consideration his poor owners who only want a restful night’s sleep. And while all that commotion was taking place from the inconsiderate dog, the good-mannered cat was 14 hours into what would have been an 18 hour nap—thanks a lot dog…

And dogs have no respect for your stuff or theirs—they just love to destroy things. Whether it’s your expensive tennis shoes, your new couch, your garden or even their own toys, they will tear it to shreds. In contrast, when was the last time a cat chewed up your expensive loafers or a cat ate your homework? Nope, cats are too upright to engage in such destruction (provided they have a scratching post). Also, cats lovingly take care of the toys that you give them and will often hide them to keep them safe.

Need more convincing? How about the number of internet videos and memes that center around cats and their hilarious antics. This is proof that cats are far more entertaining and have a comedic style that is on par with humans sense of humor. Sure dogs have quite a few too, but nowhere near the numbers of cats. Plus, cats and their entertaining antics usually come about from the natural curiosity, whereas dogs just clown around because they are attention hogs. 

Lastly, cats are better for the environment.  A study found that a dog's environmental footprint is twice that of an average SUV. Whereas, a cat's environmental footprint is equal to that of a minivan. 

That is just a few of the reasons why cats are better than dogs. And I will let the following videos dispel some of the "myths" about cats that have been spread by those who have been brainwashed by dogs. 

1st: for those who say cats are not affectionate.

Second: for those who say cats do not care about their owners.  

Last: For those who have been told cats can't be trained. 

So there you go, cats are better than dogs. I know it might be hard to accept at first, but after you do, you may come to realize that you have infact been a cat person all along.

Are you still not convinced or did I forget to mention a key cat advantage? Let me know in the comments! 

In Loving Memory of...

Foofurs 

October 23rd, 2003 to May 1st, 2016